What makes a good Parent?

The moment we become a parent , you start getting thousands of advices from our friends, relatives, neighbors and others. Many a times those suggestion work for us and many a times it won't too. Each child is different. 

Successful parenting is not about achieving perfection. It is about setting some goals and reaching upto it. Set high standards for ourselves first and then our children second. We serve as  a role models for them.

Here are 5 Parenting tips on learning good parenting skills. Many of them are not quick nor easy. And probably all the tips cannot be followed at the same time. But if you keep working on these parenting tips you will be moving in the right direction for your child.

#1 Be what you want your child to be.

You are the role model of your child. They observe your daily activities and try copying them. You don't have to tell your child how they should walk, talk , sit etc. you need to show them in action. 

Since early days we humans are programmed to copy other's action to learn them and to incorporate it in our own. As your child stays thoroughly with you specially mother in his/ her early days. They learn everything from us. So we have to be the person we want our child to be. Show them positive behavior. Talk with them politely. Use good vocabulary. Give a smile to them . They will do the same.

#2 Show your love through action not through materials

There is no such thing as loving your child too much. Loving them does not spoil them but giving them materials in the name of love may spoil them and turn them into spoiled brat. 

Show love to your child by giving them hugs, spending time with them, listen to them, play with them, be a child with them.

When you show love through actions that triggers the release of feel-good hormone such as oxytocin. These neurochemicals can bring us a deep sense of calm, emotional warmth and contentment, from which child develop the nature to adjust and resilience.

#3 Practice kind and firm positive parenting

Babies are born with around 100 billion brain cells (neurons ) with relatively little connections. These connections create our thoughts , drive our actions, shape our personalities and basically determine who we are. They are created, strengthened and sculpted through experiences across our lives.

Give your child positive experiences. They will have the ability to experience positive experiences and offer them to others. Give your child negative experiences . They won't have the kind of development necessary for them to thrive. 

Sing that silly song.  Have a tickle marathon. Go to the park. Laugh with your child. Ride through an emotional tantrum. Solve a problem together with a positive attitude. Not only do these positive experiences create good connections in your child's brain, but they also form the memories of you that your child carries for your life. 

when it comes to discipline, it seems hard to remain positive. But it is possible to practice positive discipline and avoid punitive measures. Setting rules limits and being consistent are the keys to good discipline. Be kind and firm when enforcing those rules. Focus on the reason behind the child's behavior. And make it an opportunity to learn for the future, rather than to punish for the past.

#4 Be a safe haven for your child

Let your child know that you'll always be there for them by being responsive to the child's signals and sensitive to their needs. Support and accept your child as an individual. Be a warm, safe haven for your child to explore from.

Children raised by parents who are consistently responsive tend to have better emotional regulation development, social skills development , and mental health outcomes.

#5 Talk with your child and help their brains integrate

By Keeping an open line of communication, you will have a better relationship with your child and your child will come to you when there is a problem. 

There is one more benefit of communication. You help your child integrate different parts of his/her brain.

Integration is similar to our body in which different organs need to coordinate and work together to maintain a healthy body. When different parts of the brain are integrated they can function harmoniously as a whole, which means fewer tantrums, more cooperative behavior, more empathy and more mental well- being.

To do that talk to your child about their troubling experiences. Ask your child about  what happened and how he/she felt. You do not have to provide solutions. You do not need to have all the answers to be a good parent. Just listening to them talking to them and clarifying questions will help them make sense of their experiences and integrate memories.